Communications
After agreeing to cover for a colleague to do some unwanted and unneeded overtime on the weekend for a few hours, i found myself in Enfield. The working week had been long and tiresome and i was able to finish my work a few hours early so i decided to see what the fine (working) ladies of Enfield had to offer as i needed to release some built up tension.
Usually, if I'm in Enfield, my go to mature lady is Tiffany who works out of a ground floor flat just by/before Waltham Cross on the Hertford Road. She's normally really good with comms, and so once i didn't hear from her within a period of time, i knew she was pre-occupied with a punter, so i searched for an alternative.
Now, I dont know how you guys think, but if you're anything like me and your Plan A falls through, then all I'm interested in or seeking after that is a pump and dump to satisfy my needs. I wasnt about to start driving 30mins in the opposite direction to meet with Plan B, especially when that would've involved driving through Tottenham on a matchday!
So after a quick search on website i came across Llani's profile. She didn't have any reviews so i was taking a chance on her. But she had her green light on, and she was in the same area as Tiffany..i just didn't realise how close..
Now, going by her photos, age, and her price (£30 for 15mins) i knew EXACTLY what kind of punt i was walking into (hence why it's a neutral) and i was certainly under no illusions. For example, i knew;
• Facially, she's probably not going to be my cup of tea.
• I would be doing the majority of the work during the punt.
• certain positions (eg, her on top) were probably past their sell by date at this point.
But again, i was fine with all of that, as this was a "UPS/FedEx Mission": give it a few knocks..drop the load off (in her bush)..and back down the road. 😁
So once we had sorted out a time and price via text, she sent me the postcode and off i went. What i didn't realise at the time was that i was going to the very same flat where i would normally see Tiffany, so you can imagine the surprise i was in when i text her I'm outside and she sent me the same door number to knock on.
Venue
To give you some context and the layout to this flat, once you open the front door, the bedroom is immediately to the left hand side, and it has an en suite, so you never need to walk around the rest of the flat. Well, since Tiffany was already entertaining in the main bedroom, i was taken through to the "open plan" (i use that term VERY loosely) living room/kitchen where i was greeted by two haggard armchairs, a JVC (or was it a Hitachi?) TV with a bigger and rounder arse than Llani's and an inflatable double bed on the floor. 🤦 Now listen, I wasn't expecting the Hilton or Radisson Blu, or even the Marriott, but this was almost laughable.
Looks
I mean, bless her, she's got to be mid to late 60's, maybe older, and for what its worth, she just looks like the typical old girl who lives on your street. You know, the type who you'd help with her shopping or the one you'd see in the laundrette. Only difference is she has these rock hard fake tits which are sagging and she doesn't like her nipples being played with too much as they're sensitive.
The Meet
Anyway, after my initial shock, i handed over my £30 and this was the first time i got to look and see Llani properly.
Once she strips off and joins me on the bed, its on with the rubber and shes sucking away. Nothing to praise or criticize here, at this point, i was just looking around the room in awe of how dated the interior decor looked while the TV attempted to drown out the noise of what was going on down the corridor in the other room.
A few minutes passed and i was asked "are you ready to put it in, yea?" to which i agreed. She suggested missionary which i agreed too, but also asked me to go easy as she gently slipped my dick inside of her.
The blowjob had not done much for me, and the sex wasn't far off that either. But again, she's an old girl, she's working with what she has, so i can't be mad or upset at her. Besides, my £30 is probably contributing towards her shopping, heating/electric bills and buying Werthers Orginal/Campino for her grandchildren.
I knew she wouldn't last 5mins, but missionary was really boring me, and so i asked her to get ontop, hoping that seeing her breasts jiggle while i pumped her pussy, would bring me to a climax. No chance. She just rocked back and forth and i could see even that was a struggle for her.
Meanwhile, i could hear Tiffany saying goodbye to her punter and the door slammimg, and with that Llani jumped up and said "oh, she's done, lets go and use the big bed now." The thought of lying down where another fella has just blown his load all over the sheets wasn't doing anything for me, but i hesitantly followed.
On entering the bedroom Llani began introducing me to her co-worker, and before Llani even finished Tiffany interrupted with "Oh hello *insert name*! How have you been?" With slight confusion on her face, Llani asked how we knew each other?....I'm sorry, I'm naked, standing in a bedroom with two prostitutes...how do you think i know her??? My particularly rude/cheeky sense of humour was about to come out with "Oh, I'm a regular at this whore house" but I kept that statement where it belonged, in my thoughts.
"I knew you liked them old, but i didn't realise you liked them geriatric" laughed Tiffany while putting her bra back on and looking at Llani. "Well why don't you come and join us and give her a hand then, eh?" I said, hoping for some sort of silver lining in this very grey cloud of a punt. Llani then chimed in with "Oh thats going to cost another £30 if you want that."
I would've happily paid that just to continue the punt with Tiffany alone, let alone both of them, but as we all know, very few girls take card/bank transfer and cash is always king. And unfortunately i had exactly £30 in my wallet and not a penny more. And with that, Tiffany waved bye bye and went off to the living room area to leave us to it.
By this point, my hard on was now a semi, and i was pissed off that i didn't have the extra £30, so i told Llani to get on all fours by the edge of the bed while i stood up and pounded away my frustration at her in doggy. Not much long after that, my frustrations soon turned to delight as i came in the bag and that was the end of a very average punt.
Final Thoughts
In the end, i suppose everybody won,
I got my rocks off.
Llani got her money.
And her grandkids get their Haribo.
D.I.T.
Lol - brilliant review.
Thank you kind sir! 👋
Whether it be neutral or negative, if my review can provide someone with a chuckle, then so be it 👍
Probably the lowest rates around that £30